depression

we were talking about the subject of depression in church today and its strange how people get so affected by it. just by mentioning the topic, normally cheery ppl started becoming silent and sullen.

apparently, more people get depressed during the festive season (merry christmas) than at any other period of time during the year. so whats the story? some said its cos these ppl dont have families and friends and thats why during the fetive period, they feel it all the more and get jealous of the ppl around them who are so happy its frustrating.

another reason that was raised was cos these people dont have the means to celebrate the festive season. so they feel left out.

i personally think that people have an innate need to be fulfilled in their lives so when it comes to the festive period and they have a bit of time to reflect on their lives, they find it awfully meaningless and thus fall into depression. if ppl had noble causes or worked for a cause, they would be less depressed than they would normally be.

the cumulative effect of the holidays could also be part of the depression. like, you would normally be already depressed, but during the festive period you feel even mroe depressed cos of the positive energy around you. this is kinda true cos being around immensely postive and happy people makes me sick. its like, theyre so bubbly its almost unreal. how can anyone be so happy? its almost like a front, but you cant really say that cos they might actually believe it themselves.

so anyway, to cut things short, the group leader provided us with words of wisdom. we all know human beings are social creatures. very often, people are let down by other people. if u think about it, when was the last time that you were depressed and it wasnt because somebody screwed up on you? its all in the relational aspect of humanity and i guess thats why zen monks are permanently happy cos they dunt give a shit about the rest of the world. asceticism has its perks i guess, along with not worrying about where the next lay is going to come from.

i just thought that the relational aspect was pretty intriguing. its like, there but you dont really see it and you dont realise it until someone points it out to you. hmm, which also brings to mind the reason why i have little trust in human nature for so many years. theres just too many imperfections for it to be anything else other than a big screwup, myself included.

i think it gets even worse when ure working cos ppl act according to their own self benefit. like some warped version of Hard Times and utilitarianism or something like that and that is seriously damn sian diao.

was talking to mok today after gym and he was saying something like our lives have become more open and complicated nowadays. i kinda agree. you goto uni, you come out, get a job or run your own business. you have kids, you die. such is life. how sian. just thinking about it makes me sian. its not like im jaded or anything cos i do see the beauty in parts of life but....it just makes me very very tired. especially the dying part. its seems to negate every aspect of your life, every single useful (you thought) thing that youve done in your life.

now now, not all is gloom and doom. i suppose if we all found a cause to dedicate ourselves to we would be really joyful. and i suppose the trick is to get to the stage where death is no longer a thing to be feared but to be embraced. until then, keep on walking, as johnnie walker is so fond of saying. life's a journey, we'll help you pack (samsonite or deuter?)

and of course, keep the faith (some pastor)