perserverence
how do you know you are addicted to DoTA? well, when ure broke by the end of the week with like 30 cents in your wallet and its not even saturday yet. when last time you got headaches when you stared at a pc screen for more than 2 hours at a go and now strangely enough you feel pretty darn fine after hitting the 5 hour mark.
when you've spent like an estimated 25 bucks on mindless, albiet fun lanning, you know you are addicted.
damn, im addicted. and i dunt know why cos im not exactly a pc geek kinda guy but hell yea, the idea of chopping your mates into pieces via cute, fuzzy like "heroes" is so appealing to the male ego. just like gambling, you get your addiction and high not from winning but from losing. everytime you get zapped to death, or some cheap shit sneaks up behind you and backstabs you, it fans the flames of revenge and a burning desire to make him pay for his sins.
you know you are addicted when you name the title of this blog entry after an artifact in the game cos you cant think of any other title.
DoTA anyone?
---------
that asides, was supposed to play soccer with my 4Q mates today but most of em couldnt make it (for some damn well better be good reason) so anyway joel, his bro an dedrick an me went to orchard to like chill out.
i guess we've all started to grow up haha, ded's got a gf and so does elgin, liangzheng, wee kiat, philip an blah blah blah. my whole ex class is getting a girlfriend.
was out with mok the other day (yesterday) and he remarked to me on the RJ phenomenon of getting a girlfriend.
"everyone's chionging girlfriends now cos, you know, NS"
yes guys, its that period of repression and isolation from the female race. even my cousin agrees
"NS guys are the lowest form of creatures known to mankind"
its kinda funny cos, well, i mean sure its nice to have a gf on the weekends but you have to wonder how much effort can be put in like 1 and a half days a week. and according to a report i read online, if your girl-buddy is between the ages of 18 to 23, then attraction is based on the amount of time you spend with her.
so its like while your rotting inside tekong with a bunch of retards, shes out there trying her darn best to be faithful to you while that third year uni bastard is trying to get into her pants.
and the best part is that you cant do nuts about it. ok look, maybe im being just a little bit pessimistic and defeatist here. maybe that third year guy just wants to take her out...you know, as friends only.
---------
suddenly, im getting the after exams syndrome. days blur into night, there are no goals set. there is no structure and im becoming the creature that i used to be in secondary 2 and 3. a person whose life derived meaning from going out and .... interaction. if you're like me and you are sometimes an introvert and sometimes an extrovert, then you can imagine what a pain in the ass it is to be in a situation like this.
on one hand, your extroverted character is saying, go out, meet people, have fun! and on the other hand your introverted character is saying what the hell do you think you are doing you shallow bastard. you think half of them even gives a shit about you? what happened to self examination and introspection?
its a war of the worlds, literally and one that has seen periods of dominance. just like the Meiji era hailed the end of the traditional japanese way of life and the modernization of japan, so too does my characteristics undergo periods of dominance.
its like, you figure out you're , you know, really like this. and then you find out that each side has its pros and cons. eventually, the cons outweigh the pros and so you switch back and forth. this reminds me im still an adolescent, for some strange reason. my mom never seems to have this problem.
--------
somehow i guess sometimes you win, but you dont really win. i made a .... vow? to throw myself wholly into canoeing cos i didnt want a repeat of softball and the failure again. and so jc began and my whole life was canoeing, literally. for a while i thought that this was what i wanted, total dedication to an aim. but along the way, this aim got chipped off and blocked by so many obstacles. i mean, yea sure, we did triumph in our own way in the end but at what cost? there's always a cost isnt there? theres always something unseen in the equation that comes around the stare you straight in the face and then you wonder why you never saw it coming, in your blind fortitude.
canoeing was great, but i failed again because i failed to realise that people do things differently in other places. and then when it more or less got sorted out it was too late. what could have been was not. such a pity cos i truly believe that we were made for much much more than we delivered. it is very difficult to remember the one greatest joy of your jc life and find out that it is also one of your greatest sadness.
and i guess its at times like these, when the days blur into nights, that you fully have the time to....regret. i think i know why i want to keep busy now, so that i wouldnt have time to regret fully. you know how it feels like when theres a wound somewhere...you bite yourself to take the attention away from the pain but theres still pain, and now its in two different places. bummer eh?
the distraction becomes hateful and you still cant forget about the past. why do i hold on to the past so much? why do you hold on to the past so much? something thats gone defines us so much its almost unfair.
guess i need an artifact that grants +4hp per second and +100% max mana.
Perserverence.
when you've spent like an estimated 25 bucks on mindless, albiet fun lanning, you know you are addicted.
damn, im addicted. and i dunt know why cos im not exactly a pc geek kinda guy but hell yea, the idea of chopping your mates into pieces via cute, fuzzy like "heroes" is so appealing to the male ego. just like gambling, you get your addiction and high not from winning but from losing. everytime you get zapped to death, or some cheap shit sneaks up behind you and backstabs you, it fans the flames of revenge and a burning desire to make him pay for his sins.
you know you are addicted when you name the title of this blog entry after an artifact in the game cos you cant think of any other title.
DoTA anyone?
---------
that asides, was supposed to play soccer with my 4Q mates today but most of em couldnt make it (for some damn well better be good reason) so anyway joel, his bro an dedrick an me went to orchard to like chill out.
i guess we've all started to grow up haha, ded's got a gf and so does elgin, liangzheng, wee kiat, philip an blah blah blah. my whole ex class is getting a girlfriend.
was out with mok the other day (yesterday) and he remarked to me on the RJ phenomenon of getting a girlfriend.
"everyone's chionging girlfriends now cos, you know, NS"
yes guys, its that period of repression and isolation from the female race. even my cousin agrees
"NS guys are the lowest form of creatures known to mankind"
its kinda funny cos, well, i mean sure its nice to have a gf on the weekends but you have to wonder how much effort can be put in like 1 and a half days a week. and according to a report i read online, if your girl-buddy is between the ages of 18 to 23, then attraction is based on the amount of time you spend with her.
so its like while your rotting inside tekong with a bunch of retards, shes out there trying her darn best to be faithful to you while that third year uni bastard is trying to get into her pants.
and the best part is that you cant do nuts about it. ok look, maybe im being just a little bit pessimistic and defeatist here. maybe that third year guy just wants to take her out...you know, as friends only.
---------
suddenly, im getting the after exams syndrome. days blur into night, there are no goals set. there is no structure and im becoming the creature that i used to be in secondary 2 and 3. a person whose life derived meaning from going out and .... interaction. if you're like me and you are sometimes an introvert and sometimes an extrovert, then you can imagine what a pain in the ass it is to be in a situation like this.
on one hand, your extroverted character is saying, go out, meet people, have fun! and on the other hand your introverted character is saying what the hell do you think you are doing you shallow bastard. you think half of them even gives a shit about you? what happened to self examination and introspection?
its a war of the worlds, literally and one that has seen periods of dominance. just like the Meiji era hailed the end of the traditional japanese way of life and the modernization of japan, so too does my characteristics undergo periods of dominance.
its like, you figure out you're , you know, really like this. and then you find out that each side has its pros and cons. eventually, the cons outweigh the pros and so you switch back and forth. this reminds me im still an adolescent, for some strange reason. my mom never seems to have this problem.
--------
somehow i guess sometimes you win, but you dont really win. i made a .... vow? to throw myself wholly into canoeing cos i didnt want a repeat of softball and the failure again. and so jc began and my whole life was canoeing, literally. for a while i thought that this was what i wanted, total dedication to an aim. but along the way, this aim got chipped off and blocked by so many obstacles. i mean, yea sure, we did triumph in our own way in the end but at what cost? there's always a cost isnt there? theres always something unseen in the equation that comes around the stare you straight in the face and then you wonder why you never saw it coming, in your blind fortitude.
canoeing was great, but i failed again because i failed to realise that people do things differently in other places. and then when it more or less got sorted out it was too late. what could have been was not. such a pity cos i truly believe that we were made for much much more than we delivered. it is very difficult to remember the one greatest joy of your jc life and find out that it is also one of your greatest sadness.
and i guess its at times like these, when the days blur into nights, that you fully have the time to....regret. i think i know why i want to keep busy now, so that i wouldnt have time to regret fully. you know how it feels like when theres a wound somewhere...you bite yourself to take the attention away from the pain but theres still pain, and now its in two different places. bummer eh?
the distraction becomes hateful and you still cant forget about the past. why do i hold on to the past so much? why do you hold on to the past so much? something thats gone defines us so much its almost unfair.
guess i need an artifact that grants +4hp per second and +100% max mana.
Perserverence.
posted by tim tay at 8:39 PM
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