the battle of gan eng seng
in keeping with my dream of failing my A levels, i decided to join my sunday church team for a field soccer game today at 330 pm. the stage was set....and so i met my cousin once again for the inevitable battle to come.
well, actually it was supposed to be a "friendly", but hell, if i know these things, they are NEVER friendly in nature.
now, lets take a look at the opponents, from Grace Methodist Church, all 20 plus years old and in the army. most of em in OCS, which means theyre all fit, nasty bastards. and they wear a team jersey, which means they play together regularly.
now lets take a look at my team.
strikers: my cousin thomas, a pint sized sec 2 guy. and when i say pint sized i mean pint. with a small p. hes like about 14 something cm and hes skinny as a broom stick.
the other striker is this guy called Sim, hes 23 and hes pretty good. good shot, lean and mean. he works for Energizer batteries corporation. he's my cousin Jonathan's friend.
Midfield:kumar(rrrr). some indian guy, hes tall but he cant play for nuts. keeps giving the ball away. has nice blue eyes, ladies would like him. but there aint any ladies on the pitch, are there? (we'll see)
daryl. another small sized guy. thinks hes ronaldo cos he keeps dribbling and delays passing and as a result gets zhammed. real bad.
Keith. my 47 year old pastor. built like a horse, hes an old warrior and he can turn pretty well. physically strong but his stamina has left him long ago. he attacks most of the time.
Me. yes, i was playing defensive mid, aka Roy Keane. my favourite player. too bad im not like him. but yea , i try. im skinny and im short, but i can cause a few ..... difficulties shall we say.
Defence: Jonnie. my other cousin. ex commando sergeant. works at sports council nowadays. avid sportsman. hes kinda stocky, from his commando days and he played centre back. kept us in the game quite a few times with well timed tackles.
Xiong. some guy one year older than me. xiong is in the army now and hes good, but today he was nervous on the ball. maybe hes rusty. i dunno.
soem guy whose name i forgot: yea he played defence too and hes good. good attitude but stamina failed him. he cramped both legs and was out late in the second half.
Mark: some guy who went off later cos his toe was bruised in a tackle. was replaced by a phillipino-indian bystander who happened to be wearing boots as well. we called him "Mat". has silky skills and is a right good defender, as befitting his Indian nationality. all indians can play a good game of soccer. as can all Mats.
'Keeper: Clement. a right good keeper. he made lotsa good saves and kicks and tackles. all credit to him.
the other team was wholly chinese. i dunt suppose many indians or mats go to church.
so well, you can see that we have a jolly good (fucked up) team. we were a motley crue. and yea, i suppose thats what makes the game fun. sorta like david vs goliath kinda thing. gets your juices flowing.
so anyway, we kicked off (we even had a referee and hes quite pro. controlled game well. even blows for offside. hes the other team's worship leader. nice guy.)
immediately, we got a defence splitting pass. fuucckk. luckily the guy couldnt finish and so we breathed a sigh of relief.
i was sucking wind in midfield. everytime we forayed forwards, the ball would be taken off us by force and thus i had to backtrack to help cover ass. coupled with the hot afternoon sun, this kind of thing can seem almost sadistic.
but hey, we had a pastor on our side and so God answered our prayers. i lofted a hopeful ball towards cousin thomas, who transferred it to mark who was overlapping on the wing. mark somehow lost his marker, more by mutual bewilderment ratehr than real skill and he chopped a cross in. two bodies flew for it, the pastor and the opposing defender. i suppose you can guess whose side God is on. 1-0 to us. against the run of play. now i know how Greece feels.
the battle was focused mainly on the wings. midfield was aptly commanded by cousin jonnie and i helped out in whatever way i could by booting the ball away whenever it fell in he penalty area. we were holding them, somehow. they got a bit frustrated after two of them collided together following a ghost-move by Sim. i tried a few chips and lofted balls towards cousin thomas but hes just too darn small. got muscled off the ball always. bummer.
and then the hand of God came again. winning a free kick just outside the box, pastor keith promptly floated one in. i peeled off my marker and headed for the ball. dammit, too much curl. it was floating away from me towards the far post. that is, until Sim completed his run from outside the box and with the marker's attention on me, promptly slammed a grasscutter past the 'keeper. 2-0.
the other team was shocked. as were we. and we were all gasping for breath. i needed water badly to quench my parched throat but the bloody whistle just wouldnt blow.
so i guess you could say that half time is one of the best feelings i ever had in my life.
the thing about the other team is that they have a much larger squad than us. we had exactly the number needed for a full team. so they could afford substitutions that kept them fresh and us pussyfied.
it soon began to tell cos once the second half started, they came at us hard. they subbed off some guy and replaced him with a tricky one. and they could now get on the end of defence spl;itting passes. one thing though, for some reason their finishing sucks big time. with only the keeper to beat, they missed three times. but hey, they plumped 4 goals past us to win 4-2 in the end.
two were laughable. one from a free kick at a sharp angle and the other from a direct corner. Kumarrr left his boots at home and let the ball go in when he was guarding near post. argh.
the other one was a defence splitting pass. noting much u can do if your defence is ball watching and your keeper is outnumbered 2 to 1. i guess we were all tired.
they even got awarded a penalty cos Mat got overenthusiastic with a two footed lunge. placed it bottom right corner, just like henry would.
well, to our credit, we battled hard. it was stud on stud, shin on shin. had my feet go for a stud imprint when some guy slid in and another one aided me in my muay thai training by imprinting his shin into mine when i cleared a ball.
i hauled a few guys down and after the match my shoulders and lower back were aching along wit the shins and legs. yes, soccer is a total body workout friends.
tried to loft the team by screaming at them. and i tried to run all over the damn pitch cos holes were opening up everywhere. by others as well as by me cos i tried to cover. inexperience, inexperience. most of em havent even stepped onto a pitch, let along play field soccer so it was pretty bad positioning all over.
once the final whistle went. i went over to the goalpost and i puked out the Milo i drank (fortified with Actigen E!)
yea, even though i feel like crap now, it was worth it. even though we got thrashed 4-2. it was worth it. cos when you play with your heart and soul and youre right in the middle of things hitting and whacking and getting hit and whacked. somehow it feels good. but hey, my head feels like shit now so i wouldnt recommend it to everyone.
its a bit of adrenaline mixed with a bit of macho honour and topped off with a desire to kill the friggin opponent at all costs. i suppose i can sort of understand the romantic beauty of it all.
maybe there's a reason why its called the "Beautiful Game" and its not just cos of the silky skills. its about playing with your heart and never giving up even when the opposition is breathing down yer neck and youre half dead and holding the ball up.
its about bone meeting bone and taking the pain and giving it back. cos thats the only way you can stop those bastards.
and its about holding the back line and looking out for your mates, sorta like a mobile siege kinda thing.
yea its all this and more and i cant really do it justice through this description. lets just say im looking forwards to more games after the a levels.
just hope my shins and foot heals fast enough.
well, actually it was supposed to be a "friendly", but hell, if i know these things, they are NEVER friendly in nature.
now, lets take a look at the opponents, from Grace Methodist Church, all 20 plus years old and in the army. most of em in OCS, which means theyre all fit, nasty bastards. and they wear a team jersey, which means they play together regularly.
now lets take a look at my team.
strikers: my cousin thomas, a pint sized sec 2 guy. and when i say pint sized i mean pint. with a small p. hes like about 14 something cm and hes skinny as a broom stick.
the other striker is this guy called Sim, hes 23 and hes pretty good. good shot, lean and mean. he works for Energizer batteries corporation. he's my cousin Jonathan's friend.
Midfield:kumar(rrrr). some indian guy, hes tall but he cant play for nuts. keeps giving the ball away. has nice blue eyes, ladies would like him. but there aint any ladies on the pitch, are there? (we'll see)
daryl. another small sized guy. thinks hes ronaldo cos he keeps dribbling and delays passing and as a result gets zhammed. real bad.
Keith. my 47 year old pastor. built like a horse, hes an old warrior and he can turn pretty well. physically strong but his stamina has left him long ago. he attacks most of the time.
Me. yes, i was playing defensive mid, aka Roy Keane. my favourite player. too bad im not like him. but yea , i try. im skinny and im short, but i can cause a few ..... difficulties shall we say.
Defence: Jonnie. my other cousin. ex commando sergeant. works at sports council nowadays. avid sportsman. hes kinda stocky, from his commando days and he played centre back. kept us in the game quite a few times with well timed tackles.
Xiong. some guy one year older than me. xiong is in the army now and hes good, but today he was nervous on the ball. maybe hes rusty. i dunno.
soem guy whose name i forgot: yea he played defence too and hes good. good attitude but stamina failed him. he cramped both legs and was out late in the second half.
Mark: some guy who went off later cos his toe was bruised in a tackle. was replaced by a phillipino-indian bystander who happened to be wearing boots as well. we called him "Mat". has silky skills and is a right good defender, as befitting his Indian nationality. all indians can play a good game of soccer. as can all Mats.
'Keeper: Clement. a right good keeper. he made lotsa good saves and kicks and tackles. all credit to him.
the other team was wholly chinese. i dunt suppose many indians or mats go to church.
so well, you can see that we have a jolly good (fucked up) team. we were a motley crue. and yea, i suppose thats what makes the game fun. sorta like david vs goliath kinda thing. gets your juices flowing.
so anyway, we kicked off (we even had a referee and hes quite pro. controlled game well. even blows for offside. hes the other team's worship leader. nice guy.)
immediately, we got a defence splitting pass. fuucckk. luckily the guy couldnt finish and so we breathed a sigh of relief.
i was sucking wind in midfield. everytime we forayed forwards, the ball would be taken off us by force and thus i had to backtrack to help cover ass. coupled with the hot afternoon sun, this kind of thing can seem almost sadistic.
but hey, we had a pastor on our side and so God answered our prayers. i lofted a hopeful ball towards cousin thomas, who transferred it to mark who was overlapping on the wing. mark somehow lost his marker, more by mutual bewilderment ratehr than real skill and he chopped a cross in. two bodies flew for it, the pastor and the opposing defender. i suppose you can guess whose side God is on. 1-0 to us. against the run of play. now i know how Greece feels.
the battle was focused mainly on the wings. midfield was aptly commanded by cousin jonnie and i helped out in whatever way i could by booting the ball away whenever it fell in he penalty area. we were holding them, somehow. they got a bit frustrated after two of them collided together following a ghost-move by Sim. i tried a few chips and lofted balls towards cousin thomas but hes just too darn small. got muscled off the ball always. bummer.
and then the hand of God came again. winning a free kick just outside the box, pastor keith promptly floated one in. i peeled off my marker and headed for the ball. dammit, too much curl. it was floating away from me towards the far post. that is, until Sim completed his run from outside the box and with the marker's attention on me, promptly slammed a grasscutter past the 'keeper. 2-0.
the other team was shocked. as were we. and we were all gasping for breath. i needed water badly to quench my parched throat but the bloody whistle just wouldnt blow.
so i guess you could say that half time is one of the best feelings i ever had in my life.
the thing about the other team is that they have a much larger squad than us. we had exactly the number needed for a full team. so they could afford substitutions that kept them fresh and us pussyfied.
it soon began to tell cos once the second half started, they came at us hard. they subbed off some guy and replaced him with a tricky one. and they could now get on the end of defence spl;itting passes. one thing though, for some reason their finishing sucks big time. with only the keeper to beat, they missed three times. but hey, they plumped 4 goals past us to win 4-2 in the end.
two were laughable. one from a free kick at a sharp angle and the other from a direct corner. Kumarrr left his boots at home and let the ball go in when he was guarding near post. argh.
the other one was a defence splitting pass. noting much u can do if your defence is ball watching and your keeper is outnumbered 2 to 1. i guess we were all tired.
they even got awarded a penalty cos Mat got overenthusiastic with a two footed lunge. placed it bottom right corner, just like henry would.
well, to our credit, we battled hard. it was stud on stud, shin on shin. had my feet go for a stud imprint when some guy slid in and another one aided me in my muay thai training by imprinting his shin into mine when i cleared a ball.
i hauled a few guys down and after the match my shoulders and lower back were aching along wit the shins and legs. yes, soccer is a total body workout friends.
tried to loft the team by screaming at them. and i tried to run all over the damn pitch cos holes were opening up everywhere. by others as well as by me cos i tried to cover. inexperience, inexperience. most of em havent even stepped onto a pitch, let along play field soccer so it was pretty bad positioning all over.
once the final whistle went. i went over to the goalpost and i puked out the Milo i drank (fortified with Actigen E!)
yea, even though i feel like crap now, it was worth it. even though we got thrashed 4-2. it was worth it. cos when you play with your heart and soul and youre right in the middle of things hitting and whacking and getting hit and whacked. somehow it feels good. but hey, my head feels like shit now so i wouldnt recommend it to everyone.
its a bit of adrenaline mixed with a bit of macho honour and topped off with a desire to kill the friggin opponent at all costs. i suppose i can sort of understand the romantic beauty of it all.
maybe there's a reason why its called the "Beautiful Game" and its not just cos of the silky skills. its about playing with your heart and never giving up even when the opposition is breathing down yer neck and youre half dead and holding the ball up.
its about bone meeting bone and taking the pain and giving it back. cos thats the only way you can stop those bastards.
and its about holding the back line and looking out for your mates, sorta like a mobile siege kinda thing.
yea its all this and more and i cant really do it justice through this description. lets just say im looking forwards to more games after the a levels.
just hope my shins and foot heals fast enough.
posted by tim tay at 7:45 PM
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