the things they carried
hmm, im going in tomorrow at approximately 1145 hours.
i feel...nothing. well, a little bit of excitement maybe cos its unknown and its a challenge and a change of lifestyle.
i think of all the potential shit that will happen and im apprehensive as well. my mom told me in the car not to start any fights, if not kena DB (detention barracks). i ask her why, im not particularly hot-headed...am i? mommy knows best.
im scared some sergeant will scream at me and ill snap and give him one in the face. its highly likely but i think if i go through this scenerio often enough in my head, when the situation comes ill be able to handle it. i cant take bullshit very well im afraid.
im also scared that my bunk in tekong will be haunted. there are stories and yea, its a nagging thing at the back of my head that only comes at night. guess ill have to pee b4 lights out no matter the cost haha. either that or scamper off to the bathroom as fast as i can.
sounds like what a kid would be afraid of yea? but i guess were all kids inside to some degree. apart from this, im also scared that i wunt be able to eat fast enough and thuis become damn thin and tired. (20 min for eating only, including lining up and chionging there)
so i guess i carry these little bits and pieces of adolescant fear with me in. they say boys turn into men in the army. i dunt think so. i think boys turn into law abiding, god fearing, boot licking mindless ants in the army. i will become one too. soon, i will come out with total fear of the law, like all good law abiding singaporeans should possess. i will believe that settling down and earning your pay is the sole aim of life and i will do my best to achieve it, sir yes sir. you better believe this change is coming.
i hope i dunt get into a chiong platoon or company. where stand by bed is everyday and arseholes chiong their asses off cos they want to impress the sergeant and get into OCS. theyre all wankers, all of em. i firmly believe that if ure good enough, ull get in. theres no need to bootlick and kiss ass. just do your best. if ure like me and you dunt particularly care where you end up in, at least not some mind numbing guard duty like vocation, then you are more than welcome to slack with me right at the back.
i guess army is also a good time for me to get fit. its time for the Eco, boys and girls. and the very first step is to get fit enough so you wont pass out in the middle of it. so wish me luck, as i try to emulate kelvin tan's footsteps. maybe we'll even beat those american bastards...
but yes, back to NS. its like losing your friends all over again. already, numbers are dwindling. ppl like joseph ting are feeling lonely. i feel lonely too, everyones mostly in right now. its gonna be my turn soon. its like youre at the top of the roller coaster ride waiting in line to get in. there will be thrills and spills and sometimes you feel like puking and you wish you never got on. but you cant stop halfway can you? so you sit and pray and maybe you start to enjoy it after all.
and then, 2 years later, the ride is over and you get off, with shaky legs you return to civilian life and somehow youre wiser. at least thats how i hope the story will play out. only time will tell eh?
civilian life, im gonna miss it. jianwei told me to get mentally prepared before i go in cos "the next two years of youre life is gonna be like that". adhering to a regimented schedule. no freedom, no mucking about. cheebye! and im going in with the JC batch, which is notorious for chionging, unlike the much slacker poly batch and the super off ITE batch. well, get over it.
am i mentally prepared? maybe. i dunt think the full extent will hit me till three days later in camp, when i wake up in the middle of the night and i need to pee and im afraid to go to the toilet, ill think....fuckkk! this is gonna be my life for the next 2 years. and then ill heck care and just go anyway cos my bladder is gonna burst soon.
so two weeks later, watch this space cos two weeks later, a boy has gotten on the roller coaster ride and hes about to tell you how shitty it is.
theme song as i go in: Seven Nation Army, by the White Stripes. i fought to this music, just to let you know.
i feel...nothing. well, a little bit of excitement maybe cos its unknown and its a challenge and a change of lifestyle.
i think of all the potential shit that will happen and im apprehensive as well. my mom told me in the car not to start any fights, if not kena DB (detention barracks). i ask her why, im not particularly hot-headed...am i? mommy knows best.
im scared some sergeant will scream at me and ill snap and give him one in the face. its highly likely but i think if i go through this scenerio often enough in my head, when the situation comes ill be able to handle it. i cant take bullshit very well im afraid.
im also scared that my bunk in tekong will be haunted. there are stories and yea, its a nagging thing at the back of my head that only comes at night. guess ill have to pee b4 lights out no matter the cost haha. either that or scamper off to the bathroom as fast as i can.
sounds like what a kid would be afraid of yea? but i guess were all kids inside to some degree. apart from this, im also scared that i wunt be able to eat fast enough and thuis become damn thin and tired. (20 min for eating only, including lining up and chionging there)
so i guess i carry these little bits and pieces of adolescant fear with me in. they say boys turn into men in the army. i dunt think so. i think boys turn into law abiding, god fearing, boot licking mindless ants in the army. i will become one too. soon, i will come out with total fear of the law, like all good law abiding singaporeans should possess. i will believe that settling down and earning your pay is the sole aim of life and i will do my best to achieve it, sir yes sir. you better believe this change is coming.
i hope i dunt get into a chiong platoon or company. where stand by bed is everyday and arseholes chiong their asses off cos they want to impress the sergeant and get into OCS. theyre all wankers, all of em. i firmly believe that if ure good enough, ull get in. theres no need to bootlick and kiss ass. just do your best. if ure like me and you dunt particularly care where you end up in, at least not some mind numbing guard duty like vocation, then you are more than welcome to slack with me right at the back.
i guess army is also a good time for me to get fit. its time for the Eco, boys and girls. and the very first step is to get fit enough so you wont pass out in the middle of it. so wish me luck, as i try to emulate kelvin tan's footsteps. maybe we'll even beat those american bastards...
but yes, back to NS. its like losing your friends all over again. already, numbers are dwindling. ppl like joseph ting are feeling lonely. i feel lonely too, everyones mostly in right now. its gonna be my turn soon. its like youre at the top of the roller coaster ride waiting in line to get in. there will be thrills and spills and sometimes you feel like puking and you wish you never got on. but you cant stop halfway can you? so you sit and pray and maybe you start to enjoy it after all.
and then, 2 years later, the ride is over and you get off, with shaky legs you return to civilian life and somehow youre wiser. at least thats how i hope the story will play out. only time will tell eh?
civilian life, im gonna miss it. jianwei told me to get mentally prepared before i go in cos "the next two years of youre life is gonna be like that". adhering to a regimented schedule. no freedom, no mucking about. cheebye! and im going in with the JC batch, which is notorious for chionging, unlike the much slacker poly batch and the super off ITE batch. well, get over it.
am i mentally prepared? maybe. i dunt think the full extent will hit me till three days later in camp, when i wake up in the middle of the night and i need to pee and im afraid to go to the toilet, ill think....fuckkk! this is gonna be my life for the next 2 years. and then ill heck care and just go anyway cos my bladder is gonna burst soon.
so two weeks later, watch this space cos two weeks later, a boy has gotten on the roller coaster ride and hes about to tell you how shitty it is.
theme song as i go in: Seven Nation Army, by the White Stripes. i fought to this music, just to let you know.
posted by tim tay at 11:51 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home